Ok I just solved my no crank no start problem, I came across this post and used it to help diagnose my situation so I thought Id share my story in case it can help someone else in the future.
My trunk had a leak I didnt know about and there was a big storm a few weeks ago that filled up the trunk all the way to the battery terminals. I drained the trunk but afterwards my car wouldnt start or even try to crank.
I assumed the water must have caused the issue, so I probed around looking for corrosion, I didnt find anything too bad but I took a wire brush and cleaned up the ground posts and the positive cable and the fusible link anyways. Still no crank.
I tested the battery, the battery was fine. I took some intake parts off to get access to the starter motor, my multimeter showed 12V on the positive cable post, I used a screwdriver to connect it to the solenoid, it worked, I connected the part that activates the motor, that worked, so I moved on to diagnosing the EWS.
I checked the clutch safety switch with my multimeter and it worked, and my brake lights came on when I pressed the brake pedal so I assumed that worked. I saw the post mentioning the DME fuses, all of 4 had 12V with the key in the “on” position but not cranked, 5th was a spare, so DME worked but something wasnt happening that needed to happen between the “on” position and the crank position.
I was afraid the key was somehow deactivated, but I didnt want to buy a new key until I was sure. At that point I kind of had a hail mary idea and thought f it, it cant hurt to try. I considered that maybe the transponder inside the battery wasnt as strong as it used to be or that the key ring transponder that sends the signal to the key wasnt as strong as it used to be, so I took off the plastic shroud on the key to expose the transponder in hopes that would help everything communicate. With literally zero expectations of success I turned the key to crank, and it worked! I literally still cant believe that actually worked! I have no clue what even compelled me to try that, because this problem seems completely unrelated to the trunk water and an incredible coincidence to have happen at the same time.
Thanks to everyone who spent their time commenting in here, it was really helpful, I wouldve never arrived at this point without everyone in this post contributing their insight and documenting the process!